almost jumping

Yesterday I talked to a ghost from my past. We talked for about twenty minutes, I had forgotten how easy it was to talk to him and I wonder why we aren't friends. He's the type of boy who talks like he's in a daze, I always have trouble deciding whether he's high or just spacey. But even so, he's insightful. He reminded me of how we used to be, and how we've changed. I began to think about the choices I've made, and whether or not they were the right ones to make.

Then today, I got home and I had an envelope in my mailbox. It was addressed to me, in my own handwriting. At the end of Freshman year our English teacher had asked us to write a letter to ourselves as Seniors in highschool. Now, here was the letter, in my hands. I really took it seriously. I can't help but wonder if my 14 year old self would have been proud of the person I have become. I said somethings in the letter that were soooo wrong that it made me laugh. I'm different now, I didn't anticipate changing so much. It also made me notice the things I'm missing. I had some goals and expectations for myself that I didn't meet and will not meet.

I don't really know what to think right now.