almost jumping

Vacances d'hiver

2007-01-03T17:02:00.000-08:00

White Christmas

Trip to Evergreen State College

Downtown from West Seattle

Cookies

Snoqualmie

New Years

many more on my facebook.

How I Feel

2007-01-03T13:39:00.000-08:00

"When Giovanni wanted me to know that he was displeased with me, he said that I was a "vrai américain"; conversely, when delighted, he said that I was not an American at all; and on both occassions he was striking, deep in me, a nerve which did not throb in him. And I resented this: resented being called an American (and resented resenting it) because it seemed to make me nothing more than that, whatever that was; and I resented being called not an American because it seemed to make me nothing."
-- Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin

whoot!

2006-12-09T07:42:00.000-08:00

I'm done! Everything even went relatively well! Except for calc... but I still don't even feel too bad about that. My papers were good, especially my sosc one, my French exam was awesome. And now I'm done, and I'm left with such a sense of accomplishment. I somehow handled a quarter of college, I can do this. I can't wait to see my friends, I'm so excited to go home and be in Seattle and breathe the air and hug my parents and friends. I'm going to shop, go to shows, go to the island. I can't wait to sit down and read a book for myself... as opposed to some book on sociology or economic theory. My brain is tired.

Only answer w/ one word, no exceptions.

2006-12-01T15:59:00.000-08:00

1. Yourself: Stressed
2. Your spouse: eventually
3. Your hair: curly
4. Your mother: teacher
5. Your father: artist
6. Your dream last night: vivid
7. Your favorite drink: cocoa!
8. Your dream car: ferari
9. Your bedroom: bright
10. Your fear: lonliness
11. What you want to be in 10 years: europe
12. Who you hung out with last night: Ari
13. What you're not: energized
14. Muffins: jiffy
15. Time: mean
16. The last thing you did: wrote
17. What you are wearing: uncommon
18. Your favorite weather: rain
19. The last thing you ate: cheese
20. Your life: decent
21. Your mood: stressed
22. Your best friend: seattle
23. What are you thinking about right now?: Durkheim
24. Your car: mazda
25. What are you doing at the moment?: paper
26. Your summer: rough
27. Your relationship status: single
28. What is on your TV? Nothing.
29. What is the weather like? snowy
30. When is the last time you laughed? protest

2006-11-26T13:33:00.000-08:00

It seems like recently a lot of people have been debating whether or not they are really, truly happy here. Watching other people struggle has really made me question how I feel about where I am right now. I remember back in France, I told myself for the first three months that I was SO HAPPY! I LOVED FRANCE! But really, looking back, I was having fun, but I was lonely and wasn't really feeling fantastic emotionally. So what now? I had a rough couple of weeks surrounding my birthday, filled with stuggles emotionally, physically, and educationally. But then I went away for Thanksgiving, I came back, and I felt so overjoyed. I saw one friend walk into my hall and I was so glad to see him, then another door opened and I saw another girl, and my closest friend here ran up the stairs. And I sat and talked to these kids for two hours, gushing over our weekends and all the things we did and bought and all the homework we still have to do. I am happy here, how could I not be with these people around me? I love that I live with my friends, they drive me INSANE sometimes, but I really feel glad to be in the place that I am, surrounded by so many people who love me so much. When I'm in pain, I have 50 arms reaching out to hug me.

This doesn't stop me from missing my Seattle friends, or my France friends for that matter... I've sincerely neglected some of them, some people who mean the world to me. I'm working on it.

Voting

2006-11-08T11:15:00.000-08:00

Last night was crazy. I camped out in a friend's room for hours, watching the election returns with three other kids. I was doing my homework as the results rolled in, so I managed to be social and productive at the same time. We had this huge map on his wall with all the states, on the states were written the numbers of the districts that were swing districts, these numbers were written on in the color that they were leaning. We circled them in the color of the party that actually won them. And we shaded in the states as Senate positions were won.

This is such an exciting day to be an American. Let's recap:
The House of Representatives is now ran by the Democrats! AND the new House Speaker is Nancy Pelosi, the first woman to hold that position.
The Senate could potentially belong to the democrats... it all depends on Virginia. And we won't know that result for months and months.
But even if we don't get it, we still can be exceedingly pleased that only Democrats won new seats, no new seats were won at all by the Republicans.
To top that off, Rumsfeld is scared of Democrats, so he resigned.

Nice work America, you are looking better with each passing moment.

update: the dems have the senate!!! fuck yeah!!!!! i can be proud to be an american again!!

Why I love Ohio

2006-10-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

Road trips, playing frisbee for nine hours after one hour of sleep, amazing girls, amazing guys, running and running, having every muscle in my body scream in pain, lots of bagels, speeding tickets, the game, disney sing-a-longs, breaking the cup-o-saurus, not doing any homework at all. And this too:

oh yes. we stole construction tape!

2006-10-11T23:25:00.000-07:00

Fuck you, Batch

2006-10-06T09:15:00.000-07:00

This movie is all anyone in my house can think about. Let's get some shoes.

I need to post pictures of the trees that have been ripped out of the ground by that storm, its dreadful to see this huge old trees completely torn up at the roots.

Intense Shit.

2006-10-03T12:45:00.000-07:00

Everything that happens here is so overwhelmingly intense. Thats the only real way to describe my past few weeks here in Chicago. Fucking intense. I've met people, made friendships, started classes, etc. And once all that happens, it all hits you.

First of all: There is a new emergency of some sort every day. The first major one happenedon Saturday, I was just settling down with my lovely Adam Smith (The Wealth of Nations, written in 1776, 600 pages long...) when a girl in my house came dashing up the stairs asking us to find our RHs. A girl in my house had been hit by a truck. We ran downstairs in panic. We couldn't contact our Resident Heads (RHs), something was wrong with their phones. The ambulance came, and all sorts of other drama with extremely rude policemen commenced. She had been standing at the corner next to our dorm, waiting to cross, when a car ran a red light and hit a truck, the truck spun and hit this girl, breaking her pelvis and her femur. I finally managed to call the RA, who gave her phone to an RH. This was such a scary and frustrating day for us. Then yesterday an anemic girl collapsed at lunch and hit her head, the paramedics had to come. THEN a huge storm came and ripped through Hyde Park with a terrible fury yesterday. I'm not going to recount my entire storm experience, but, believe me, it was exciting. Now, all over campus, huge trees are lying uprooted on the quads and leaves and debris are everywhere.

Then there is the emotional intensity. People are still getting to know each other, and this leads to really frustrating and exciting times. Also, people who came to school here who still have boyfriends/girlfriends back home are either breaking up with them or spending lots of time crying and missing them. I've had to comfort more than one person this past week. Its good karma, when I need to cry, they'll hold me and tell me it'll be ok.

Of course there is also the schoolwork, that is always too much. But I'm beginning to like my classes (and get annoyed with others). Today my Hum class went to the rare books section of the library. This was an orgasmic experience for me. I love books, I love old books, and I especially like old maps. There were so many awesome maps from the 16th Century. I need to spend more time in that part of the library.

And I play frisbee a minimum of seven hours a week, so that takes up time too. In addition to that, I am the co-representative of IM sports, so I need to help organize and run all the intramural sports games that our house plays.

So, thats my little update. Off to play some frisbee!

i wish i was an ocean...

2006-09-27T13:40:00.000-07:00

First Day in Chicago

2006-09-20T08:12:00.000-07:00

Before I left for Chicago, in Lodi, WI with my little cousins, Sela and Kelby.

The door to my room.

In my room after dragging all my stuff in.

Me in my dorm room (when it was all messy, its a bit better now).

Me and my cousin Terra in the Burton-Judson dining hall.

I'm at College!

My aunt Lynn standing in front of a bunch of other parents and people.

Chi-town

2006-09-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

So here I am in Chicago. And I've just realized, that I am very, very alone. I mean, I'm not upset or feeling lonely. I just know now that there is really no one here at all that knows me. No one to eat with, no one to walk with, no one to talk to. I kinda had some bizarre assumption that I'd get here and I have friends and support (that was stupid of me). Give it time Anna Rae, give it time. Everyone is nice and friendly, I just don't know them, and I'm not in the type of situation that makes it easy to get to know them.

My dorm is awesome. I'm on the third floor, and I have a nice window (with a view of nothing at all, just trees and an ugly building). I have more closet space and storage space than I do in my room in Seattle. There is bed to the left, a desk to the right against the wall, an armchair right next to that. And a dresser at the foot of the bed against the wall. Its old, painted white, with a linoleum floor that has tan and black specks. I'd have taken pictures, but I don't have a camera. I ordered a new camera online, and then they emailed me back saying the order had been cancelled, this pissed me off a lot. I'll fix the problem soon enough, then you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.

Today I got to Chicago with my aunt and cousin at around 12ish, we moved all my crap into my room and then I ran around campus getting all sorts of amazing free things. A free bag, free food, free pencils, free frisbee, free water bottle, free everything! Freebie heaven! Then there was a long talk in this ornate old chapel on campus. we arrived too late and there was no more room in the chapel, we were hearded into another room where we watched every one give their speeches on a screen with a live feed directly from the chapel. After that I walked with all the other kids to a football field. We had to stand in the shape of an '10 and they took an aerial shot of us. It was overwhelming walking down through campus to that feild. People were hugging their parents and crying. The emotions were vibrating through the air. As the parents left and we continued our walk, upperclassman stood and watched us from the outside of the walkway. They held signs, yelling and cheering us on. I felt a bit awkward just standing amongst everyone on that field. Many people know at least one person, or have roommates. I wandered, talked to a couple people, moved on.

Afterwards we met up with the rest of the people in our house and ate dinner, which was good, I had a burrito, pasta, and ice cream. Not balanced, I know, but this was my first meal. I was excited.

CRAZIEST THINGS EVER! At the table as we ate I found out that my resident head has BEEN to VASHON. His brother-in-law lives there! and then, another girl at the table was saying that her mom is from France so she visits often. I asked her where she was from and she said... ANNECY. What??? How small is this crazy world we live in. I flipped out when she said that.

So here I am, pretty happy, and really, very excited.

salut seattle

2006-09-11T09:42:00.001-07:00

I'm leaving Seattle in 20 minutes.

Yesterday I was freaking out, I had so much to do, I was so on edge and nervous and, yes, kinda sad. I don't know how I managed to finish packing. My friends and I went and saw "Little Miss Sunshine" and we laughed so hard that I was crying, with tears streaming down my cheeks. I'll miss my Seattle girls, I am much closer to my friends here now than I was before I left for France.

Off I go, to bigger and better adventures.

salut seattle

2006-09-11T09:42:00.000-07:00

Breakdancing

2006-09-05T17:22:00.000-07:00

This was one of the most pleasant moments at Bumbershoot, sitting on a balcony in the afternoon sun with some friends, listening to great music from Breakestra, and peering down at breakdancers dancing below. Sorry, no sound, I'm going to get a new camera sometime soon that will record sound too.

The Recap.

2006-09-05T12:06:00.000-07:00

Amazing weekend.

The best part was last night at A Tribe Called Quest. Not only did they blow everyone away with their brilliance, but I actually could SEE them. One of my friends (he's around 6'5"/195cm) put me up on his sholders for a few songs. I saw above everyones heads, and I wasn't being crushed by the 20,000 people around me. It was a perfect moment.

This past weekend I saw Laura Viers, Rogue Wave, Of Montreal, Lady Sovereign, some short films, The New Pornographers, Spoon, Common Market, Blue Scholars, Kanye West, Rocky Votolato, Cancer Rising, Breakestra, Atmosphere, and A Tribe Called Quest.

My favorite band was probably Of Montreal, they are so hilarious and I've always loved their music. They came out dressed like women and the lead singer kept ripping off parts of his clothes. They also got more and more trashed as the show went on. But despite that their music was perfect. I also loved Spoon. Lady Sovereign is the craziest little girl I have ever seen in my life, and her concert was so much fun. She has inexhaustable energy. The Blue Scholars are my heros, and Rogue Wave... well, right now, I just love every group I saw with all my heart.

And the weather was perfect too. It was a great way to spend my second to last weekend with my friends.

Bumbershoot Update

2006-09-04T13:07:00.000-07:00

Right now, I'm in the right place, at the right time. It'd be a tragedy to be anywhere else. Today: Rocky Votolato, Cancer Rising, Trapped in the Closet (!), A Tribe Called Quest, and Feist.

I've seen both Kanye West and Of Montreal do renditions of Crazy by Gnarls Barkley. Cmon guys, get your own song.

Coming out of the Dark Ages!

2006-08-31T11:45:00.000-07:00

My parents got a beautiful new imac, and a new printer/scanner. AND THEY ARE FINALLY GETTING DSL!! (Right when I leave... thanks a lot.) So here is my first attempt at scanning something- we've never had a scanner before, so this is new and exciting.

Me, at age 5, on the family farm in Stiles Junction, WI, holding a cat.

je t'assure que tu parles mieux qu'elle.

2006-08-30T16:29:00.001-07:00

I met a really great guy yesterday. Yesterday morning I took an early bus downtown to meet this boy who will also be going to the university of Chicago, he was a little bit late and I had to wander around for a while, but it was really worth it. I'm so excited to meet kids from my school... this was like a preview. He's super nice, very easy to talk to, and very much like every kid i know. I'm used to boys like him. I guess I want to get away from that Island "lets sit on the beach and smoke pot" mentality, but it'll be great to have someone around who is familiar and will remind me of home. There was no amazing mental connection with him, but I still really had fun and I do want to see him again.

Then I went to work, which was fun, cause I have SO FEW DAYS LEFT! We had very few customers so I spent a lot of time sitting around eating and talking to my coworkers. After work I went to Singles Going Steady and crawled around on the ground, searching for posters to decorate my dormroom. I found one for Ted Leo + the Pharmacists and another from The Capitol Hill Block Party of 2004. Honestly, neither poster is that great, but they'll do until I find some ones I really like. I planned all this so I rode on the same bus home as my dad, which was nice. We watched episodes of the Ricky Gervais Video Podcast on my ipod all the way home.

As soon as I got home I showered, changed, burned the Format's cd, and ran out the door and on to a ferry to Port Orchard. One of my closest friends is leaving for college today, so a bunch of my best friends and I went to her house, watched SNL dvds, and ate pizza and cake. I slept over there and then took an early ferry to Seattle so I could go to work.

I got to leave work early! Life is good and happy, but I miss Mare already.

bribery and other money making tales

2006-08-27T22:52:00.000-07:00

My boss has been trying to bribe me to work next weekend. He says if I work on Sunday, he'll pay be $50 in addition to what I normally make. (Thats a lot of money... more than time and a half, I'd make like, $140 that day...). I have worked every weekend this summer, with the exception of the weekend I graduated, I never ask for days off, if they need me to work extra, I say yes yes yes oui oui oui. I deserve a break, don't I? Its like putting a price on my friendships/happiness. How much will it cost to make Anna Rae ditch her friends and Bumbershoot? I waffled around a bit, and finally, for once, put my foot down and said "NO!". I have been waiting all summer for this one little weekend, I can't let them take it away from me. So now they are threatening to lock me into the restaurant on Friday night. Pray for me to stay strong.

One thing that I'm excited about is that I should finally get to meet Oliver this week. Oliver is a boy from the University of Chicago who lives on an island near Seattle, he doesn't come into Seattle all that often, but everytime he does we've been trying to meet up. But I keep blowing him off... work, plans, my friends... I feel terribly guilty. I don't want him get the impression that I don't want to meet him, because honestly, there is nothing I want more than to meet someone from my school. He's coming into Seattle on Tuesday and I have to work that day (like always) so I think we'll meet early in the morning and go to a cafe or something before I go to work. I hope it actually works out this time, he seems like a cool kid.

Tomorrow I'm taking the kids I babysat all last summer to WildWaves. I was pretty much their nanny last year, driving them around, fixing them lunch and tying their shoes. Its not an easy group. The kids are awesome, but they are difficult... ages 13, 11, and 7. The 13 year old is too old for a babysitter, and he acts like an asshole to prove it to me. The 11 year old worships me so much that its past endearing and more like obnoxious. The 7 year old is cool. He's my favorite (shhh!). I wonder if I'll have the energy to get through the day.

I'm sorry I'm so dramatic, and that I say the wrong things at the wrong times.
Hey you, I may not be perfect, but at least I'm happy, and isn't that all that matters?

(and Flo, what are your plans for next week?)

Music- Rainer Maria "The Awful Truth Of Loving"

Why today was good

2006-08-23T22:42:00.000-07:00

1) I trained my replacement! YES! A new busser!

2) The window washing guys came today... and one of them was incredibly gorgeous. I wish I was five years older.

3) I got to leave work early, at 2, cause the new busser took over.

4) With my free time after work I went shopping (but didn't buy anything), and I found this great store I've never been in. When I was trying on shoes they were playing Lily Allen. In a STORE in SEATTLE.

Take care of her Pitzer!

2006-08-21T12:24:00.000-07:00

This morning I said goodbye to Christine, who I've known since first grade. She's more like my sister than my friend, I don't have any pictures from when we were six on my computer, but here's a few from when we were 13 or 14 at the beach on the Washington coast. The first picture was taken today, a couple hours ago after we ate breakfast. She's one of those few friends that I know I will have for my entire life.

check out #9 bitches.

2006-08-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

this is sorta a big deal, but then again, i would have still wanted to go to u of chicago if it wasn't in the top 10 universities in the US.

2006-08-20T17:44:00.000-07:00

i get so stressed out at work. and all i'm doing is cleaning tables and shit. it makes me worried that i'm never going to be able to find a job i actually enjoy because i'm so fucking uptight.

i had a marvelous evening last night with florence, we saw the Devil Wears Prada and wandered around Pacific Place talking nonstop. i haven't seen her in a year, and we have a million things to say to each other.

Fuck my friends for leaving me, can't they wait a while to go to school?

oh, and gilles, can you send me a postcard, please?

2006-08-17T22:59:00.000-07:00

i'm reading There Are No Children Here and it makes me seriously scared of going to Chicago. Not scared enough that I'm not excited anymore, but damn, this place is a different world. There is no ghetto in Seattle that is anything at all like Cabrini-Green, Ida B., or Henry Horner. We're such pussies here. I want to help these children.

hey you. i KNOW people are reading this blog. Why don't ya'll comment every now and then?

I'm collecting the covers of the Stranger and I'm gonna put them up all over my walls at college!

dining

2006-08-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my best friend and I went to the New Angkor Market after eating delicious Pho up in White Center. We walked all up and down the rows of the market looking at all the crazy Asian foods and products. We stumbled upon bins of kitchen supplies at the end of the store. There were colorful plastic bowls, butcher knives, little tea cups, rice strainers, and all sorts of things. We bought ourselves a pack of 12 utensils. The pack cost us $1.39 and now we each have two forks, two spoons, and two knives to take with us to college. They are crappy little pressed metal utensils with yellow-orange plastic handles. You may see this as trivial, but these are my first forks and knives of my adult life, I'm going off on my own and now I have something to eat with! Its one little piece of growing up that I now have.

Last night... fondue, champagne, and SPICE WORLD the Movie! It was also my first real goodbye, to a friend of mine who is leaving today to go to USF. How crazy that we're all finally starting to drift off to college. I should probably be embarassed that I sang along to the Spice Girls during that movie-
I still know every word to all their songs! It was a strange contrast. I was sitting with my friends, celebrating us moving on to the real world, while watching a movie from when we were all little kids. We don't really want to grow up, do we?

Spice Girls: We're the Spice Girls, yes indeed. Just Girl Power is all we need. We know how we got this far...
Ginger Spice: Strength and courage and a Wonderbra!
Spice Girls: Would this work with only one?
Baby: Just with me I have no fun.
Spice Girls: Would this work with only two?
Scary Spice: We need more for what we do.
Spice Girls: Would this work with only three?
Sporty: Three's a crowd, bad company.
Spice Girls: Would this work with only four?
Posh: No way, girl, we need one more!
Spice Girls: Listen up, take my advice - we need five for the power of Spice. Give it up, give it out, take a stand, scream and shout! One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls!

(this is probably the worst movie i've ever seen.)

2006-08-14T15:54:00.000-07:00

I'm reading this book right now about Elena and Nicolae Ceaucescu. Its absolutely enthralling. I think this is where I realize that I'm kinda an odd kid, and that I actually am a huge nerd. I've always been fascinated by the really morbid things that have happened in the past. I don't know why, I can't explain it. I mean, its not like I'm obsessed by dead things or anything. I suppose I'm just interested in how societies can go wrong and how people can let tragedies happen (or even create tragedies). As a little kid I read book after book about the Holocaust, and one of my favorite books was "50 Greatest Wisconsin Crimes". The Wisconsin crime book was amazing, I read about murders and bombings to and from elementary school on the school bus. The school systems of the US and France have failed miserably in their efforts to give me a rounded education. It wasn't until two years ago that I even heard of Ceaucescu and all the terrible things he did in Romania- and I'm sure if you asked all the kids in my high school if they knew who this man was all except for five or six kids would say they had no clue who he was. There are so many things that I want to do and learn, I just hope that I find time for them all.

2006-08-10T18:43:00.000-07:00

To me, there is nothing better than the elation you feel when you slip out of daily life into a place where all is forgotten, then there is nothing more crushing and frustrating than being forced to return.

Dodd-Mead

2006-08-06T19:52:00.000-07:00

So, I have found out where I'm living next year, and according to this awesome website I will be living in pretty much the coolest, most enthusiastic house on campus. It seems like everyone is really active in school activites and has a lot of fun. I also learned that my House's offical song is "Gay Bar" by Electric Six. This song brings back such awesome memories of France for me. I know I'll love living in this place. If you are also at all interested (which you probably aren't... but anyway... you should check out pictures of it and stuff on its website right here. And hey! The dining hall looks like the Great Hall at Hogwarts!! Sans Dec!

Tomorrow my mom and I are going to Sol Duc Hotsprings to camp for a few nights, hike a bit, swim a lot, and relax. I just can't wait to get away from the city and stop thinking about work.

2006-07-28T18:38:00.000-07:00

As I was walking away from work today I saw that some sort of crime had happened downtown. The streets were blocked off and helicopters were swarming up in the sky. I got home and turned on the TV. A Pakestani man got into the Jewish Federation building downtown and went on a shooting spree, killing one person and injuring 5 or 6 more. This happened about two hours ago, so maybe more people are dead that I know of. This building is one of the most secure in Seattle, they expect attacks, so they have major security- checkpoints, bullet proof glass, etc. How did this happen? It brings all the terrible turmoil in the Middle East closer to home. I don't understand why someone would kill other people, especially if they are religious. What religion says its ok to kill?

Mon Jardin (cet aprem)

2006-07-25T19:47:00.000-07:00

2006-07-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

Last night was one of those perfect nights. I went to Van Asselt feilds in South Seattle to play frisbee. I know my city fairly well, but this is one part of town that is completely foreign to me. I've really started to love it, there is more to see everytime I drive down there. What is so interesting is the people that live there, the neighborhoods down on that end of town are extremely diverse. My neighborhood is also very diverse, but we have mostly a mix of Japanese, Vietnamese, Spanish, and Cambodian. Van Asselt has a large Somalian and Ethiopian population as well, last night when I was down there I saw about twenty little Somalian boys and girls running around playing tag. They were little kids, but all the girls wore long dresses to the ground and headscarves, the boys also had long robes on and sometimes little hats. I love seeing this mix of culture alive in my city, it makes me really proud of wear I live. I wish I could take pictures of all the people I see over there.

The ultimate game was really fun, I'm the youngest woman out there playing, but I'm definetly not the worse player. Everyone is so friendly and accepting and there are some really awesome players. The heat made playing really difficult, but we stuck it out. Afterwards we went out for Pizza at Stellar's in Georgetown. I've been to this restaurant a few times and its probably one of my favorite places in the city. The food is good, but thats not what makes me like it. It just has an amazing atmosphere, the restaurant is retro and trendy and they play amazing music. Its so laid-back-- a huge contrast from the restaurant I work in. I loved talking to the women at the restaurant. Its a special group of people, everyone is from different backgrounds and they are all very interesting. I spent the most time talking to a woman from Tel Aviv, Israel. She went to college at the University of Wisconsin- Madison and has been living in Seattle for a few years since that. She likes it here, but she says that she wants to move back to Israel soon, if she stays here a couple more years she'll make enough money that she'll be well off in Israel (she works for Microsoft). It was interesting to listen to her talk about the war and get a perspective from an Israeli on everything that is currently happening there. I'm really worried about everyone in Lebanon and Israel right now.

2006-07-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

So, I apparently know nothing about biology, according to my u of c placement test.

The phospho-lipid bilayer is rigidly held together by covalent bonds between the heads.
True or False?

I said true.

2006-07-23T17:18:00.000-07:00

After the past week, I can't think of anything I hate more than these two things:
1)traffic
2)heat so hot that you are sweaty and uncomfortable.

And here is why:
I spent an two and a half hours driving to and from Tacoma to see my friends play in a concert. The traffic made me miss them, then my friends didn't want to watch the other bands, soooo my ticket was wasted, and I spent all that driving just to watch some of my friends eat pizza. (Then again, it was nice to see them, and I wouldn't have been doing anything anyway.) And it was so incredibly hot. Also, the past few days it has just gotten hotter and hotter. I am covered with sweat at work all day long, then I have long, hot bus rides all the way home. On Friday my bus was half an hour late, then it took like an hour and 15 minutes to get home because of the traffic (it usually takes 30 minutes). I'm beginning to hate Metro as much as Crolard. What the hell is going on with this traffic??? Its Seattle, not New Delhi!!

One of my very closest friends is leaving for Peru tomorrow, I'll miss her a lot. She just climbed Mt. Rainier last week, and I'm so fucking proud of her.

I promise no more whiney posts for a while. Promise.

Concert!

2006-07-19T22:13:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow at Hell's Kitchen in Tac-town:

Armus Flyus
Dot Your I's
Pocket Bilt Cannon
Club Drift
(5:30pm)

Be there, my boys in Club Drift will rock your socks.

Of course, I work till 4... then its rush hour. How the fuck will I get there in time?

2006-07-12T18:19:00.000-07:00

2006-07-11T11:11:00.000-07:00

Hey! you too can be Zizou!

2006-07-10T12:38:00.000-07:00

Where does he get these pictures?

the aftermath

2006-07-09T17:24:00.000-07:00

Well. We didn't win. And a few hours ago, I was mad as hell, everyone at Maximilien was so incredibly depressed and annoyed. I got out of work and looked at my phone and I had missed five calls. One was my friend looking for her sunglasses, three were people calling to gloat about Italy winning (one message said this: "Hey, Anna Rae its... GOOOOAAAAAALLLL ITALLLIAAAAA!!!!!!" and hung up) and one was from Gilles. And then talking to him put me in a good mood and saved me from having a horrible afternoon.

You know, everyone is really worked up about Zizou's red card and his little head butting incident. But at Maximilien, it was really funny. I mean, we were watching it and we didn't see what happened at first and then they replayed it and we all (all 80 people who were crammed in that little restaurant) saw it and we just laughed. I mean, its total bad sportsman ship-- BUT just watch it! It was such a stupid action. We all decided that it was worth it.

So yeah, France lost, I was pissed, but life goes on, and I'm still proud of them.

party time

2006-07-08T21:19:00.000-07:00

I've been working so much that I haven't really had much time to go online. And things have been pretty interesting over here in Seattle what with the fourth of july and all.

ANYWAY. I'm pumped for tomorrow, I woke up this morning, opened up the newspaper, read this:

"The Italians haven't beaten the French [in a World Cup match] since 1978," says Wilfried Boutillier, manager at Maximilien, a French restaurant at Pike Place Market. "The Italians talk too much. But that's what they do the best. If they want to come here and watch, they're welcome to. We want to see them cry."

and started to laugh. The quote in this article from my boss is exactly like him, he always talks like this. You see, tomorrow at Maximilien we are going to have two huge HDTVs to play the France-Italy game on. My bosses have invited all the French people they know and we're going to have a huge crazy party. If France loses... well, the atmosphere in the restaurant will be terrible.

2006-07-01T19:21:00.000-07:00

Whats that? Who dominated today in the World Cup? Yes, thats right, FRANCE!!! WHOOOOTT!! Allez les bleus!!

(yes, some americans DO pay attention to the World Cup, I am one of them. I love soccer.)

My Owie

2006-06-28T20:15:00.000-07:00

I was baby sitting tonight and the girl I'm babysitting said the cutest thing:
Her: "Can I kiss your owie?"
Me: "No, look at it, its really yuckie, you don't want to put your mouth on that!"
Her: "Oh, Ok."
Me: "If you want you can blow it a kiss."
Her: "No! That doesn't work, its not a real kiss."
Me: "Oh yeah, who told you that isn't a real kiss?
Her: "It just isn't."
Me: "How do you know that?"
Her: "Well, I just know everything."

I got my stitches out today, and my knee looks nasty. This girl's little sister actually told me "Your owie makes me sick." I hear ya, it kinda makes me sick too, I'm ready for it to be gone.

and summer begins

2006-06-27T23:59:00.000-07:00

lots to say, lots of pictures to post, not enough time. So I give you this:

1) read Freakonomics by Steven Levitt, your mind will be blown.
2) listen to The Owls Go by Architecture in Helsinki
3) go in your car, speed down a road, listen to the "Make that Money" song from A Night at the Roxbury, dance like crazy, and say PRIIIIIMMMMEE.

I have a lot to learn this summer, I hope I have enough time to learn it all.

graduation part 1

2006-06-18T13:04:00.000-07:00

what a shitload of excitement at graduation. The stories are long and exciting. I can't begin to explain everything. But heres how it all ended: me in the emergency room with a huge gaping hoe in my knee. I took an ambulance away from my "safe and sane" graduation party. I ran into the wall in a go-kart. And then one of my friends rammed into me from the back. I had to be strapped to a backboard and taken to the hospital in an ambulance. They gave me a bazillion x rays to see if i had any bone damaged and then stiched up my knee. I was there for about four hours. I'm going to have a nasty scar and my collar bone is bruised up from where the seatbelt held me back, but honestly I could have been so much worse injured, I'm really lucky. I'll talk about the rest of graduation later. Now I must go watch France kick Korea's ass in soccer.

wooohooo!

2006-06-14T16:39:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL. FOR MY WHOLE LIFE.

Fuck, I'm growing up.

I went to my best friend's graduation last night, it went from 7pm-11pm (what a bitch...) but it was amazing, each kid in the class went up in front of the audience and a teacher talked about each person seperately (there were like 80 people...) and there were all sorts of performances- dancing, singing, bands playing, movies. It was so touching and I was so proud of her. My turn next.

so this is senior year?

2006-06-12T16:55:00.000-07:00

Senior Skip Day '06

2006-06-07T16:33:00.000-07:00

Tuesday was our senior skip day. I spent the day sleeping, eating subs, reading 1984 and Cat's Cradle, and watching MTV in my friend's basement. Monday night was pretty glorious. Tons of seniors, beaches, bonfires, and more pot than I have ever seen in one place (my school IS on a little hippie island...). I finally learned what it means to ghostride the whip, and I talked to my ex-best friend for the first time in 6 months. I still think he's an asshole, but he's redeemed himself a tiny bit. After days like yesterday, its really frustrating to be back in school. I want to be on the beach.

pllhfnkk

2006-06-03T17:37:00.000-07:00

You know what I love now?

Gomez
Nada Surf
Neutral Milk Hotel
the Starlight Mints
Lily Allen
Lady Soveriegn
John Vanderslice

Today I scraped my head on a bottle of alcohol when I was bending down, it made my forehead bleed.

Jai tres envie d'etre a chicago.

2006-06-01T21:08:00.000-07:00

My dad's birthday was today and I bought him the new Flaming Lips CD. So is it bad to buy someone a gift if you really want it for yourself and you know you'll use it just as much as him?? Probably. I also got myself the new Starlight Mints CD. I deserve new music, what with all the stress of the end of the year.

Last night I was at this terribly long assembly. We sat glued in chairs for four hours as we were given scholarships, I came away with $2,000. So I suppose it is worth it, right? I didn't get home until 11:30, I got to bed after 12 and then I had to wake up several hours later to go back on the ferry to school. In English class I fell asleep for about 20 minutes, curled on the floor in a ball. I'm such a struggler.

Everyone needs to read Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Please please please do it for me!

(My friends and I have also finally realized that we share the unhealthy habit of stalking european boys. But who can blame us, honestly?)

AR is Lovin SIFF

2006-05-29T17:22:00.000-07:00

I've been driving all over the city all weekend long. But my waste of gas has all been for very good causes. On Friday night I drove to the U District to the U Village Starbucks to meet my friend Erin. This girl is incredibly sweet, I love hanging out with her. After that we went to the UW and hung out with one of her friends in her dorm room. We sat around talking for several hours. Everytime I go with Erin to the UW I feel like it is my school, that I should be a student there too. I know my way around the campus, I know a ton of kids that go there, I feel completely comfortable. I still think I'm going to school there. I don't know if I'm making a mistake by going to Chicago when I know I'd be happy at the UW. Think of the money I could save.

I worked on Saturday and Sunday.

Sunday after work the Danish exchange student from my school met up with me. She's been here for nine months, so there isn't much she hasn't seen. I dragged her accross town to go and see the Seattle Public Library, then we walked to the International District to go visit Uwajimaya. We sat around in an awesome little park drinking bubble tea and eating egg rolls and japanese chocolates.

We drove back to West Seattle to pick up two more friends from the ferry and then all four of us went to the Seattle International Film Festival. We debated for a bit about what to see and ended up seeing "Un Jour d'été", which is directed by Franck Guérin. It was very beautifully shot, and pretty powerful. And the boys in the movie were absolutely beautiful. I forgot how hot French guys are. The girls in it were gorgeous as well. Seeing this movie makes you think every French person is incredibly attractive. After the movie ended the lights went up and the director was there to answer our questions. I wasn't expecting this at all, he was a really nice guy and I ended up going down in the end and talking to him a little bit about the movie. I loved the movie, but if I knew that directors were going to be there I would have end to the movie across the street-- "Les Poupées Russes". Which is one of my favorite movies ever. If I got the chance to talk to Cédric Klapisch I would be deliriously happy.

This morning I gave my friends French Toast and then we all went to Folklife. Folklife is this huge crazy festival filled with awesome music, food, and crafts. We walked around for about three hours exploring. The best thing about Folklife is watching the people. There are so many different types of people that go to Folklife. Its a hippie festival, everyone dresses crazy and is really open and friendly. When I was about to buy an ear of corn we ran into a friend who had just gotten back from Sasquatch. He told us all about it-- he volunteers at the Vera Project so he got to help set up for concerts backstage. He met the Shins, Sufjan Stevens, Iron and Wine... and had a snowball fight with the lead singer of the Flaming Lips. (There was a hailstorm). He was glowing with excitement and happiness. I'm jealous as hell, but I had a pretty awesome weekend as well.

I Just Tried to Ford the River and My Fucking Oxen Died

2006-05-25T17:09:00.000-07:00

Today after school I debated whether I should work out or go to the junction. The Junction won out. I went because I had an urge to try out the new Cupcake Royale across the street from Easy Street (and right by my old work, I peered in and saw my mean old manager). Ok. Cupcake Royale is amazing. Thick yummy chocolate frosting on a puffy vanilla cupcake, I was in heaven. I probably won't ever go there again, its too unhealthy, but it was really awesome to try it out. I want one of their t-shirts.

I am in the mood to go camping. I want to sleep in a tent, have a fire, walk around in the woods and breath in great air. I haven't hiked in months, I need to get outdoors. I think the reason I am thinking this way is because my parents are going on a kayak trip through the San Juan Islands this weekend. I can't go because of work. Also this weekend is the Sasquatch Music Festival in the Gorge, a bunch of my friends are planning on going, but once again, I'll be at home in Seattle. Its cool though, I would love to be doing either of those things, but it'll be relaxing to have the house to myself for a few days. I'm also excited for Sunday, after work I'm going to hang out with the awesome Danish exchange student at my school. I'm going to take her to all my favorite places in Seattle like Uwajimaya and Belltown.

So that's whats new, 13 days of school left. Life is good.

life sucks

2006-05-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

What is worse than a bad day? A bad day on the most beautiful day in Seattle. And a bad day following a great day. See, yesterday, I was really really happy. I'm not quite certain why. I just looked up to the sky and started smiling in the morning. I went to my first class and one of my closest friends turned to me and said "You've changed. You look so good, so happy. Stay this way." That made me feel pretty good inside, that my good mood was obvious to everyone.

Today was just the opposite. I hated the world, I'm so tired today, I work too hard at everything and I'm afraid of what will happen to me if I keep continuing at such a fast pace. I started to cheer up later in the day. Then, when I got to my car after school and looked on it, I saw that someone had drawn a huge penis on the window. I don't know what they used to do it, I think it was a hot pocket or a peice of pizza or something. Whatever, it was cheesy and nasty. It was also REALLY hot today so this big dick pretty much baked itself onto my window. And I know the asshole who did it. This other guy who parks his car near mine gives rides to this boy who is the rudest person in the world. I've never met a bigger fuck-up. He's such a nasty little druggie. I'm nice to him, I don't do anything to him at all. You know, looking back on all this, it sounds hilarious. A huge penis drawn on my window? Kinda funny actually. But it wasn't at the time, and it wasn't funny when I tried to wash it off (which took forever).

Luckily, this guy can make me laugh whenever I need to. Oh! And I finally got L'étranger in French, it came to my house in the mail today. My English class is reading the Stranger, by Camus, and I thought I should probably read it in French instead (I've already read it twice in English). Also, we're reading 1984 in Government class. So, the outlook is good. Life sucked today but I'm reading good books and I got a haircut, which always makes everything feel clean and new.

famous boys

2006-05-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

So I was being my normal anti-social self on the ferry this morning, sitting near people but not talking to them, just absorbed in my ipod and reading the Stranger, when I stumbled upon the name of my friend's band. What a huge shock. This boy, in the band, is a kid I've known since I was a little kid. We went to preschool, elementary school, and highschool together. We've never been close friends, but we get along and some of my best friends are very close to him. I went to France and he transferred to a school off the island, so I haven't seen him in a while. But then, last weekend, he went in my group of friends to Prom (he's in those pictures down below). And he talked to me a bit about his band and how he's going on tour in the fall. I think its pretty cool that he's getting some press. I have so many brilliantly talented friends, I'm proud.

Bush gave America yet another reason to hate him today. His approval rate is now 29%. And I'm certain he's not finished fucking up.

The Office finale was a killer!!!

work

2006-05-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after I left the YMCA I noticed I had a message on my cellphone. I picked it up, called the answering machine and shivers were instantly sent down my spine. It was a guy with a thick French accent speaking, and I know that anyone who calls me with a French accent is most likely one of my bosses from work. I'm terrified of my bosses. I guess it doesnt make sense, none of them have ever been mean to me or anything. They are just so harsh, so proper. Scary French men. They can be really funny, but I still am frightened of them. Whatever they say, I'll do. Work 20 hours in a day? Yes sir. Work on a school day? I'll see if I can change my schedual around. Jump out the window? Open it for me, and I'm out. It was the owner of my restaurant, asking me if I could work at his other restaurant for a night. This is really a pretty big deal for me. I remember when I was hired the other busser told me that they might eventually give me shifts at XO Bistro, the second restaurant owned by our bosses. But I never really thought It'd happen. So, next week, I'll train for a day and take a shift there. Apparently I'll be given shifts at both restaurants during the summer. The only thing that sucks is the first day I work at XO I'll have to work at Maximilien from 8:30 until 4, then XO from as soon as I can get there until 10pm. Then the next day I'm back at Maximilien for eight hours. I might pass out.
But I'll be making money.

Samedi Soir

2006-05-08T12:13:00.000-07:00

My friends are the most amazing people in the world, and look how hot we are:

Prom was great, can you tell how happy I was?

music- Lily Allen

i kept my mouth shut

2006-05-05T18:50:00.000-07:00

I spent three hours yesterday taking the AP English Exam, I'm the only kid in my school who chose to take it. No one else is stupid enough to attempt something so difficult.

I made a promise to myself on Monday to not talk about Prom and the drama surrounding it on this blog or to any of my friends who do not go to my school. I feel that I succeeded! So, now I can say, that after tons of effort, lots of random annoyances and frustrating parents, everything is ready for prom tomorrow night. I can't wait to just be with my friends and have a great time. This is supposed to be the biggest party of the senior year of highschool.

One of my friends had the coolest idea. We're making a mix cd. Every kid going in my group told one boy two of their favorite songs, and he burned them onto the cd. While we're in the limo we'll go through the cd and we'll guess who chose to put which songs on it. Its really a challenging project, you need to choose songs that you think everyone will enjoy, that you really like, but you don't want to be obvious that its you who picked the songs. One of my friends told me she was going to put a French song on it so people would think it was me. I ended up choosing Submarine #3 by the Starlight Mints and Don't Say Nothin' by the Roots. I know if I chose Rilo Kiley or Sondre Lerche or something my friends would know in a second it was me.

This man is cool. He walks around New York with his camera, taking pictures of people who are dressed really well. Some of his photography rocks, and you can tell all the people are really flattered and happy to be chosen to be photographed. He knows his shit, and this is now on my favorites list.

2006-05-03T16:18:00.000-07:00

I was getting off the ferry today and talking to the German exchange student at my school. I really like this boy, he's done so well here, he's extremely popular, he speaks english great, and he's just such a nice guy that I really wish I knew him better. Anyway, he told me that he was meeting a French exchange student. I got really excited because I haven't seen a French kid in months. Then the boy came and I pretty much embarassed myself. I only spoke about two sentences in French before I left. I just looked at him, this very, very, attractive French boy and I completely got tongue tied. I'm not sure if it was because he was so hot, or because I was uncomfortable talking in French. I feel stupid now, I talk in French at work all the time, no problem. It takes a lot for a boy to make me shut up, I'm usually so good at talking.

The big deal in the US right now are the proposed immigration reform laws. Everyone has their own opinions, I personally don't know what to think. I think everyone should have some chance at a better life, and if they need to come to the US to do it, they should. But I don't agree with us harboring people who aren't paying taxes and actively participating in our country.

I love you Stephen Colbert

2006-04-30T16:57:00.000-07:00

Last night after work I came home and watched Stephen Colbert rip apart President Bush at the White House Correspondants Association Dinner. It was about the funniest thing I ever saw in my life. Bush looked pretty damn pissed at the end. How could they have let him do that live on CNN? At any rate, check it out.
Part 1 is here
and Part 2 is here.
I've always thought that Colbert wasn't half as good as John Stewart, but he really proved himself to me here.

stupidhead

2006-04-27T16:28:00.000-07:00

At lunch today my prom date sat down with me and my friends and said "soooo... I know this is the easiest way to make enemies, but..."

And proceeded to tell us that he didn't want to go to the Prom with us. He had just realized how expensive it was. (Think, guys pay for a tux ($75? how much do they cost for a night?), tickets ($80), dinner ($50ish), the limo and hotel ($85)... and other stuff). It really adds up, its a lot of money. But when you ask a girl to go, you are SAYING that you will pay for all that. He knew all about our plans and was really excited to go with us, we had told him all along how much it would cost. I completely understand not having enough money to go, I mean, I don't have much money at all, its hard for me to pay for too, but he shouldn't have asked me to begin with. I honestly think that my friends are more mad at him than I am. They are completely furious that they paid to include him in our plans and now he is backing out. Now the rest of us have to pay more money.

and I'm going to my senior prom alone. Thanks douchebag.

2006-04-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

This makes me want to break out in tears.

party on

2006-04-24T21:49:00.000-07:00

I cannot stop listening to the Shins.

Everyone is extremely excited about the Prom, for me, its not really about the dance its about being with my friends. I'm going in a group of five girls and five guys, my closest friends will be with me. We're going to take a limo and eat downtown before we go to the dance, which is at the Space Needle. Isn't that the most amazing thing in the world? Prom at the Space Needle!!! I haven't been up the Space Needle since I was a little kid. If we can get all of our parents to agree we're going to rent hotel rooms and spend the night downtown. We'll stay at the same hotel as other kids in our class. Sooo in other words, it'll be a crazy hotel party with over 50 seniors. Madness! This is the way to end my senior year.

I realized today that I really love my school, I bitch about it all the time, I whine about how stupid and fake the kids are. Honestly, I'm happy as can be and I'll miss this island more than I'd like to admit next year. I'll probably even miss some of the people.

music- caring is creepy, the shins

bshoot2006

2006-04-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

so far these are the bands announced to play bumbershoot next year:

Kanye West • AFI • A Tribe Called Quest • Yellowcard • Atmosphere • Hawthorne Heights • Feist • Shooter Jennings • Mates of State • Of Montreal • Matt Costa • The Blood Brothers • Bettye LaVette • the subdudes • Ivan Neville's Dumpstaphunk • Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings • Jacob Fred Jazz Odyssey • Yerba Buena • The English Beat • Gossip • 3 Inches of Blood • Deerhoof • Laura Veirs • Nouvelle Vague • Breakestra • Jamie Lidell • Vashti Bunyan • Dengue Fever • Metric

I'm already excited.

I just had a frustrating talk with a friend, nothing is ever what it appears. I thought I had things figured out, but I definetly didn't.

2006-04-20T16:47:00.000-07:00

I'm going to join this ultimate team next year. I'm terribly excited, ultimate is one thing I've really missed recently. I've always been addicted to sports (I've read the sports pages since age 5) but when I found ultimate frisbee I found something I was really good at. I'm such a natural showoff... I love it when people from other teams come up to me after games and tell me how great I am.

my head

2006-04-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

I have completely lost track of how to manage my time well, I'm finding it impossible to do my homework. (read 70 pages of crime and punishment, read and take notes on ap gov crap, do all that math work on matrices...). I've stopped thinking about France.
All I do now is talk to kids who are going to school with me in Chicago and leave messages on this addictive university of chicago class of 2010 message board. I need to stop this and reclaim my life. (but I know i wont, itll just escalate until I'm thinking about it even more than I am now.)

music

2006-04-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

Create your own Music List @ HotFreeLayouts!

When the hell did I turn into such an indie girl? A little over a year I had no idea who most of these bands were. If I had done this before I left for France, this would be covered with top-40 music and rap (rap is still awesome, but not the mainstream crap). Now I really love music, and I'm proud of the music I listen to.

paradise now

2006-04-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

Last night my friend Christine and I sat around her house, downloading music, talking about college, and eating girl scout cookies. We ended up watching this brilliant movie, "Paradise Now". It was so beautifully shot, and the film really made me think a lot. Its a movie about two men in Palestine who become suicide bombers. I'm not able to comprehend how its possible for a person to kill himself (and others) for his country. But this movie showed me the reasons why they do it, and it doesn't always have to do with the persons country, sometimes its a more personal motivation. I do not condone suicide bombing at all, but this movie really made me stop and think.

Tonight at midnight I'm gonna go see Jet City Improv, which is going to be hilarious, I'm excited. What will suck is waking up at 6:30 to go to work the next day... ouch.

en fin

2006-04-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

I talked to two of my best friends on the planet and these girls reminded me of all the reasons I wanted to go to Chicago. So, last night, I signed up and paid my deposits. I'm now officially a student at the University of Chicago. This is pretty damn surreal.

dents de sagesse

2006-04-10T18:18:00.000-07:00

My dentist has the most awesome office in the world, its the penthouse on top of the medical-dental building (behind nordstroms). He has this amazing garden on the roof that you can see out the window. Today they put the laughing gas on me and handed me my dentists ipod. I laid there for a while while I got all high on nitrous oxide and my mouth got numb. I remember reading French Glamour and having all the words dance around a bit. And then I was trying to find the postal service on his ipod because i had this CRAZY urge to listen to the postal service, but i couldn't remember what they were called! I eventually found them, thank god. I think its a pretty good idea to give the patient an ipod, i focused on the music instead of my wisdom teeth being ripped out of my head. I made myself a mix of the postal service, frou frou, death cab, the shins, the strokes, the streets, fiona apple, and the white stripes. Great tooth-pulling music.

My mouth hurts now, its still all numb and i sound like a baby trying to talk. I want to feel my tongue again. I'm gonna go take some vicodin now.

2006-04-06T16:38:00.000-07:00

This week I drank lots of caffine, studied very hard, and got very little sleep. It was a sucky week. But some cool stuff happened too, my play finally ended and it was Amnesty International's week of student action. Me and the other kids in Amnesty all made t-shirts and had big petition signing things everyday at lunch, I think we might have managed to get some kids interested in it. It really frustrated that in order to make kids sign a peice of paper to help human rights you need to yell at them and bribe them with candy. I'd like to think that we are better than that, that we can take a second to do something that isn't for ourselves.

This weekend one of the most awkward situations of my life happened, someone broke into my email and emailed a friend of mine and told him to ask me to prom. I had to call him and explain to him what happened, it was the weirdest most awkward conversation of my life. We're good, I think.

I got in!!

2006-03-30T16:17:00.000-08:00

Such a crazy emotional day. Everything was good at school. I laughed more than I thought was possible in English class. We acted out scene 4 from Hamlet, which was hilarious, then we had extra time so we played heads up four up which was fun. I love the kids in my english class. But then, one boy in my class said "hey, did you get into northwestern?" and I said "huh?". We both applied to the same school, and he had just gotten an email that said he wasn't accepted. I got out of class, ran to the library, and found out that I didn't get in. This really upset me, I really wanted to go to school at Northwestern, which is in Chicago. I applied to four easy-ish schools, and four schools that are very difficult to get into. I got into NYU which is probably the easiest to get into of the four, the two hardest to get into are Pomona and the University of Chicago. Since I didn't get into Northwestern I pretty much had to assume that I wouldn't get into the other schools I wanted to go to.

I was kinda depressed and upset. Then I got home, went to the mailbox, grabbed the mail and saw a fat envelope from the university of Chicago. And I burst into tears and cried so hard. I'm so happy I got into that school. This completely validates all the hours of working my ass off to do well in high school. I don't know if I'll actually get to go there, but I want to soooo badly.

I'M SO HAPPY.

bad/good/tired

2006-03-26T18:20:00.000-08:00

I don't get a second of rest these days. I've become so fucking tired of my school play, its sucking my time away from me. I pretty much spent my whole weekend on the Island. Last night I spent the night over there so I wouldn't have to go all the way back to Seattle in the middle of the night then come right back in the morning for the next play. I was planning on spending the night at one of my friends houses, but then she told me we were going to a "geek" party. I went along, I had nothing else to do, but I felt kinda awkward the entire time. I think I'm less openminded here at home, last year I had tons of all sorts of friends, but now on this silly little island there are just some people that I don't hang around. I did end up having a lot of fun talking to one girl and playing this awesome Japanese video game. The most awkward moments of the night came when Mr. Myspace came over. There were some bizarre moments where we were alone together and I was just a complete bitch to him. (I feel bad about that now).

Katamari Damasy!!

The plays went well, I was happy to spend time with my friends on the Island, and now I'm just so tired and so happy to be at my house.

I'm worried about all the shit thats happened in France recently with the protests. I sincerly hope that any and all violence stops and everything becomes normal again. Paris is such a magical place that its very disturbing to thing of it having problems. (Then again, it doesn't seem as bad as all the stuff that happened in November, and that ended eventually).

I'm also upset about the shootings on Capitol Hill. One of my friends who is in my school play with me got a phone call from her best friends, saying that her brother had been shot at this party. A boy just walked in to a party and shot everyone there, then himself. My friend was crying like crazy, she didn't come to the play today. Bad things happen everywhere, when you'd least expect them to.

2006-03-19T20:26:00.000-08:00

AHHH. I love being the center of attention, I'm feeling such a high right now. I'm the understudy for one of the starring roles in a play at my school. Today I got to perform. Now I'm buzzing. I did really well, I felt so much crazy chemistry with the boy I have to act with. He makes it easy for me to pretend to be in love with him, he always stares right into my eyes and holds me really close. Anyway, he's such a good actor that it gave me a lot of energy, so I think I did really well tonight. And I nailed my song. Now everyone knows that I can sing.

I'm about to burst from happiness. I haven't been on stage in soooo long and I love it so much, I love it love it love it. You haven't seen me in action till you've seen me on stage.

Firenze?

2006-03-15T17:56:00.000-08:00

Recent events are making me entirely rethink my plans for my future. I always planned on going to a college in the US and spending a year abroad after a couple of years. Today, I got an email from NYU telling me that I have been accepted into their Freshman Year in Florence Program. I'd spend my first year of college in Florence, Italy, then the next three in New York. This is such a bombshell. At first I was upset, I wanted to go to NYU, not this program. I wanted to have a traditional American College education. Lots of parties and studying all night and cheering for football teams. Then I realized that this is actually amazing. I could spend another year in Europe. I've never had a desire to live in Italy, but why not? I mean, that is the type of person I am, I'm the girl who loves traveling. This is so crazy to me. I've now gotten accepted at three of the schools I applied to. I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself. I'm excited.

2006-03-14T18:18:00.000-08:00

I'm really an adult! I voted today! I mean, it was only for some propsition to give the school district more money, but still, I exercised my rights as an American citizen.

myspace sucks!

2006-03-12T17:25:00.000-08:00

Who the fuck asks someone out over myspace?
I went on myspace yesterday and I had this message:

Hey, you are really cool and i was wondering if you would maybe like to go to a movie or something with me? im sorry that i asked you out on a date on myspace, but im a corny kind of guy

Thats even tackier than asking someone out in an IM. It does kinda make it easier for me to say no to him. Now the question is how will I reject this boy? I hate hurting people, and I know he really does like me.

Alll next week my classes start at 10 am! I dont have to leave home until 9! I can't wait to sleep.

envelopes...

2006-03-10T18:14:00.000-08:00

I came home today to a couple of envelopes from colleges.

envelope 1 said I did not get accepted into the Honors College at the UW. (I'm already in the school, this is just a special program for smart kids... apparently I'm not smart enough)

envelope 2 said I got into Gonzaga University in Spokane, Wa. This is the school my mom really wants me to go to, but I don't really like it, actually, its kinda last on my list. Still, I'm pretty happy that now I'm into two universities-- I have a choice. Then, I was going through the papers, and I realized I have a $34,000 scholarship to Gonzaga ($8,500 each year). I almost fell over. Thats soooo much money. This is a great thing, but also kinda a bad thing because now my mom wants me to go there even more. Holy Shit. Did you see that? A school wants to give me $34,000.

It snowed today, I was running to the bus stop in this cold, wet snow rain. To get to the metro stop by my school you need to go down this wooded road. It was so beautiful with the snow falling on the trees. Then I got hit with a strong urge to see one of my friends from last year. I think of snow and I think of him. I wish he could be with me today.

waste of time

2006-03-03T18:22:00.000-08:00

Today was a beautiful, happy day. The sort of day that just makes you smile inside and out. It was our last day of winter trimester; next week we will have finals. During weight training I snuck up to the wrestling room with some friends. We sat on the wrestling mats with my laptop and watched Family Guy and the Office and laughed and laughed. I started off weight training seriously—I always worked out and ran and did as I was told. Then I quickly realized that our teacher didn’t actually care. More often than not, my friends and I went to class for the first 20 minutes, then changed, jumped in a car, and went off to buy lunch in town. And twice a week or so, we’d go watch The Office in the wrestling room like today. I have to say that I do feel a tiny bit of remorse for this. I’ve been getting 100% participation points for a class that I skip almost every single day. Even so, I don’t feel enough guilt to stop skipping.

Work tomorrow. Then mucho studying for finals.

P.S. The exchange student from Denmark is teaching me Danish! I can say “shut up”, “hi”, “thanks” and count to ten.

Music→ “Oh, Goddamnit!” Hot Hot Heat

(Sometimes I get so fucking tired of acting like I am happy all the time.)

Oh Canada...

2006-02-28T21:10:00.000-08:00

I had some issues uploading pictures, here are a few that I took when I was in Canada last week

Me at Whistler (closed eyes... sorry)

Whistler
The BEST RUN EVER!! Blackcomb Glacier (@ Whistler/Blackcomb), over 10kms of sheer bliss. See the tiny black dots on it? Those are people, I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!

View from the viewpoint on the way back to Vancouver from Whistler
Sittin' on a log near Eric's house. We went on a little walk in this little forest by his house, smashed our way through trees and bushes, and ended up at this cool creek.
Eric and an Icicle. It was chilly.

Night snowboarding at Grouse Mountain, it was crazy up here, it always seemed like we were about to sail out into the city
In the Grouse Mountain Lodge
People smashed through Eric's window to try and steal our snowboards! We got quite lucky, nothing was taken, they must have been scared away.

Rabbit Fur Coat

2006-02-27T18:49:00.001-08:00

Hells yeahhhh. I got tickets to Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins!!!!!!!(@ neumos, weds March 8, 2006). For once I actually scored tickets to something I really really really want to see.

annnnd facebook made it so high school kids can now be friends with college kids. Is it sad that this made me really excited? I'm sorry I'm such a loser.

2006-02-25T17:37:00.000-08:00

I know it isn't Friday, but I have a serious lack of creativity today, so voila, The Friday Five.

1) When does liking someone a lot become loving that person?

When you get excited when you think of talking to him or seeing him, when you wonder about his opinion about things all the time. When you look at him and feel good inside, and want to talk to him for hours. I have high expectations for the people I love.

2) Is there a job you would do for free, and is it your current job?

Its not my current job. Lets see. I would act on Broadway for free. If I was on stage, singing and acting in front of people all day, I would be sublimely happy. Either that, or if I had a job where I could travel all over the world.

3) What is one person/thing that inspired you to take action of some sort?

My friends Flaminia and Anna inspired me to live abroad.

4) Though you might not believe in it, would you like fate to exist?

Yes, and I do believe it exists.

5) What's the kindest thing that anyone has ever done for you?

One time when I was in middle school I was waiting at the bus stop in White Center (aka the ghetto of Seattle) for my bus home, a little Mexican lady came off the bus. It was winter and I was shivering cold. As I was about to step onto the bus, she handed me her transfer so I wouldn't have to pay the bus fare. I could tell that she was very poor, and it just seemed so sweet to me that she would make an effort to help me. I know many people have been kind to me in my life, thats just one thing that sticks out right now. Honestly, the kindest thing anyone has done for me would be my friend Hugo letting me live with him.

2006-02-24T11:49:00.000-08:00

I'm lonely.

police chase!

2006-02-23T09:43:00.000-08:00

I'm still amazed at how fast time passes. One second I was up in Canada, the next I was in Seattle at a terrible heavy metal concert. I tagged along with my friend to see a band that she is friends with play. Before they played I had to sit through three terrible screamo bands. They were just boring, everything was the same. I guess I just don't appreciate people screaming and calling it music. And then my friend left me to go make out with some drummer, so I was left alone. I don't really fit in well at heavy metal concerts. I mean, I didn't go there dressed in a pink miniskirt or anything, but I wasn't dressed head to toe in black like everyone else. And when my friend (who looks more hardcore than i do) left, i had no one to talk to. When you look kinda preppy at a concert, people don't approach you. I hate that people think that the way you look defines what kind of music you like. I may not dress like it, but yeah, I DO like rock music. I'm never going to change the way I look just because of the type of music I listen to. So there. After being left alone for a while, the bassist from the band that we were there to see came out and found me and took me backstage to meet my friend and hang around with the band. That was fun. And then, after several hours of bad music, they played. I was impressed, these boys (The Quiet City) are only 17 and 18, but they are pretty good. It was more punk than screamo, which made me happy. I'm definetly glad I went. After the concert we helped them pack up their instruments and then we went out to Denny's. It was probably 1 am. I didn't know where the Denny's was that they wanted to go to, so I followed the guitarist. We got on to I-5 and he went speeding down the freeway, way faster than the speed limit. Then he started changing lanes, back and forth, all across the freeway. And I followed him, weaving back and forth. Then came a police car, who pulled them over! I'm lucky they didn't pull me over as well. Anyway, the boy just told the police that he was completely sober and he was just driving crazy to piss his friend, who was following him (me), off. The police let him go, and we made it to Denny's where we drank hot cocoa and ate croutons. It was a fun night.

Yesterday I dragged myself out of bed after a few hours to follow another friend (actually, the sister of the girl I went to the concert with) to her school. She goes to the UW. I went everywhere with her for the day and we had a great time, I loved her history class- we learned about the bubonic plague, and it was really fun to go to her french class. I talked to her professor afterwards and she said my French was probably better than hers... which is not true at all, her accent is parfait. But I was really flattered. I love the UW, its weird for me to think that I could be a student there...

Ahh! What will I do with my life!!
(Joyeux Anni Gilles! Tu me manques.)

j'adore tim hortons!

2006-02-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

I just got back from a great weekend at Eric's house in Vancouver. We had a spectacular day of snowboarding at Whistler on my first day there. I've never been to Whistler, I loved it, I understand now why its so popular (and expensive). We spent the next day sitting around, watching French movies, and meeting his friends. On my last day we went downtown (I needed to go shopping, I'm a girl, what can I say) and then went night snowboarding at Grouse Mountain. Pictures will be up soon... I forgot my laptop charger at school, so my laptop is dead for the week. After vacation is over I'll finally get it to work again. I don't know how I'm going to handle life without it.

I was supposed to go visit emilien today... then he stopped answering my emails. I had my mom call his host family and I got a huge shock... he was sent home to France. I feel so incredibly bad for him, he's such a great guy, I don't know how this could happen! I was so excited to see him, now hes too far.

by the way...

2006-02-16T18:46:00.000-08:00

forgot to mention this:

on valentine's day, i was eating lunch in the cafeteria with the rest of my school when a boy walked in to the room and said in a loud voice "some kid is ducttaped to the goalposts!". The ENTIRE school got up simultaniously and walked out the doors, across the courtyard, and to the football feild. Then we all stopped and stared at some freshman kid who was ducttaped-- all wrapped up with tap like a mummy-- to the goal post at the far end of the feild. It was quite comical. Apparently the kid actually volunteered to do it, which was probably pretty smart. I mean, he's just some silly little freshman who nobody knew. Now everyone knows his name-- or at least that he's the kid who was ducttaped to the goal post.

whoop de doo!

2006-02-16T18:19:00.000-08:00

This is where I'll be tomorrow night! Vive Canada! I'm pumped to see my friends from France. I'm spending my mid-winter break snowboarding and partying in the Great White North.

One thing I'm not so excited about... if I want to visit Emilien I'm going to have to sit on a Greyhound bus by myself for six hours... thats a long time and a long way to go by myself. I'm all for new adventures though.

v-day

2006-02-14T15:11:00.000-08:00

It’s the most beautiful Valentine’s Day ever. I’m single, but being alone on Valentine’s Day has never really phased me. I mean, I’d love to have a Valentine to give me flowers and hold my hand, but I’m not broken up about it. I made some rice krispy treats with pink M& Ms in them and gave them to all my friends. Every one passed out tons of candy and cupcakes today, I’m feeling sick. One of my friends burned CDs for Valentine’s instead of candy, which I think is an amazing idea.

This is what is new:
1) I was accepted to the University of Washington. So I’m definitely going to college next year. AHHHH!
2) I bought a snowboard, boots, bindings and goggles… now I just need to find time to go snowboarding… and money for lift tickets
3) They bumped me up to a much better role in the school play, I’m going to perform amazingly and make them wish they did it sooner.
4) I have a new job that I love, and everyone that works with me loves me too. Except maybe the chef. He seems a little hard to handle. The work is very, very difficult. Its way too much for me, actually, I cannot physically handle it. If I didn’t speak French, I know they wouldn’t have hired me. (It’s a French restaurant).
5) The Olympics are on TV! I love the Olympics.

Today was career day, throughout the day we listened to assorted guest speakers talk. My first set of speakers spoke about Media Arts and communications. It was really interesting… people were there from PR firms, voice over people, and media production. The next one was social sciences, something I think I’m very interested in, but I found it so boring. They had an economist, a psychologist, and an urban planner speak. Maybe its just that the speakers weren’t good, but it made me reevaluate whether or not I want to go into the social sciences. The last session was the best, performing arts. They had a dancer, actor, musician, and a makeup/costume person there; everyone was amazing. I wish I had the drive to drop everything and be an actress.

Tonight:
Dentist, then work from 5-11 at the most romantic restaurant in Seattle on Valentine’s Day. Crazinesss.

Who wants to be my Valentine?

2006-02-09T21:59:00.000-08:00

is nothing sacred?

The OC just had music from Rocky Votolato and Sufjan Stevens on it.

tt le monde ici est super contente--- en fin, il fait beau!! le ciel est bleu! il n'y a pas de nuages! il fait pas super froid! les montagnes sont couverts de neige, et la mer scintille.

aujourd'hui j'ai raté EPS pour aller faire du shopping avec des copines. ça faisait du bien d'etre dehors dans le soleil. j'en ai marre de mes etudes a ce moment... c'est bizarre pour moi. je suis vraiment une fille qui aime bosser, qui aime apprendre, mais maintenant, je m'en fiche. i have senioritis, and i have it bad.

il y a tous les etudiants d'echange qui rentrent... une fille qui était en australie, un mec qui était en japon, et un autre garçon qui était en costa rica. ils étaient dans les echanges pendant 4 ou 5 mois, pas tout l'an comme moi et mes amis. meme si ils étaient la seulement 4 ou 5 mois, je vois qu'ils sont super triste d'etre revenus. je voudrais leur dire que tout sera bien avec un peu de temps. la fille, elle est gentille, trop superficielle, mais sympa quand meme. je parle avec elle chaque jour et elle me dis ses histoires d'australie! j'adore ca, j'adore ecouter ses histoires. ça me fait beaucoup penser de mes adventures en france.

Elle est belle, la vie.

There's Always Next Year

2006-02-06T17:10:00.000-08:00

Well, we lost but we still are pretty proud. This is the first time Seattle has ever been to a SuperBowl. I am proud to say that I spent three hours sitting on the couch eating greasy potato chips, drinking beer, and screaming obscenities at the tv. Fuck those refs!

Yesterday was brilliant, the sky was blue for the first time in two months. I went to my new job for most of the day, I had to wake up at the crack of dawn to get there, but I'm glad I did it. I love working downtown, I loved seeing my beautiful city shining in the sunlight. Walking around the city in the morning before work I almost felt like I was in a foreign country, there was this still silence, interrupted by birds chirping. The city was dead-- it was SuperSunday morning, after all.

In completely unrealated news... I think its pretty damn awesome that a boy from VASHON is gonna be on the Real World: Key West. On TV! a VHS grad! wowza.

2006-02-04T10:29:00.000-08:00

100 Best First Lines from Novels

I am an invisible man. —Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man (1952)

Mother died today. —Albert Camus, The Stranger

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. —J. D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye (1951)

They shoot the white girl first. —Toni Morrison, Paradise (1998)

The moment one learns English, complications set in. —Felipe Alfau, Chromos (1990)

A screaming comes across the sky. —Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow (1973)

2006-02-01T17:32:00.001-08:00

I woke up this morning to the most horrible noise! Static! Finally, after months of warning, KEXP stopped broadcasting on 91.7. It only comes in on 90.3 now... and we can't get that at my house. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the morning without that magnificent radio station. I'll just have to stream it online.

Also... state of the Union... Bush, you suck, what is going on in your head?

I've now fully applied to seven colleges. Only one left, UBC. And I researched lots, it doesn't matter what school I go to, every one of them has some program with an exchange to Sciences Po or La Sorbonne. So I WILL go to Paris eventually.

Fuck the rain!

2006-01-30T10:34:00.000-08:00

Wow!! Why haven't I gone to more concerts? I had so much fun last night. My friends and I stood in the pouring rain for an hour and got completely drenched and freezing cold, but it was worth it. The opening act was Zoe Keating. What she does is pretty cool, she plays the cello with a synthesizer, she plays little parts and then plays them back and plays them over and over, layering and taking away. It was really beautiful, but I was exhausted. I had been standing on my feet all day at my new job (I have sooo much to say about that), I only had a half an hour to sit down before I went to the concert. So, by this point, after all the waiting, I nearly feel asleep standing up as I listened to the cello.

My friends love Imogen Heap, but I really didn't know who she was. This girl had such a fantastic voice- better than on the cd, and more than that, she was just so fucking charming and funny. Her personality was so incredible, she just seemed so sweet and happy.

I took pictures, but they turned out kinda shitty because I'm only 5'2" and I can't see over people, I have a lot of random heads in my pictures. I'll post them on myspace.

2006-01-28T20:58:00.000-08:00

I'm pissed. I was going to go see Belle & Sebastian and the New Pornographers, but it costs $85 for two. My dad was going to come with me, he loves Belle & Sebastian. Why the fuck are they so expensive?

Whatever. Tomorrow, I'm going with my friends to see Imogen Heap at Neumos.

By the way, according to this quiz I'm pretty damn preppy. Should I dye my hair blonde? Seriously. I think that girls are perceived completely differently if they are blonde. I know girls who have been completely ignored until the day they dyed their hair, then they became popular and loved and amazing. I mean, I have lots of friends and I love the way my life is, but people still see me in one certain way. I have been thinking... would people still see me as that annoying smart girl if my hair wasn't brown? I could become a cheerleader too...

You scored as Prep/Jock/Cheerleader.

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

75%

Drama nerd

56%

Ghetto gangsta

50%

Goth

31%

Geek

31%

Punk/Rebel

31%

Loner

25%

Stoner

19%

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

2006-01-26T07:43:00.000-08:00

Eric called me and played "Etoile de Neige" on his harmonica. Then he made me laugh with his Quebecois accent. I can't wait to go to Canada.

2006-01-25T17:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I talked to a ghost from my past. We talked for about twenty minutes, I had forgotten how easy it was to talk to him and I wonder why we aren't friends. He's the type of boy who talks like he's in a daze, I always have trouble deciding whether he's high or just spacey. But even so, he's insightful. He reminded me of how we used to be, and how we've changed. I began to think about the choices I've made, and whether or not they were the right ones to make.

Then today, I got home and I had an envelope in my mailbox. It was addressed to me, in my own handwriting. At the end of Freshman year our English teacher had asked us to write a letter to ourselves as Seniors in highschool. Now, here was the letter, in my hands. I really took it seriously. I can't help but wonder if my 14 year old self would have been proud of the person I have become. I said somethings in the letter that were soooo wrong that it made me laugh. I'm different now, I didn't anticipate changing so much. It also made me notice the things I'm missing. I had some goals and expectations for myself that I didn't meet and will not meet.

I don't really know what to think right now.

2006-01-23T16:20:00.000-08:00

There is this thing called the The Global Film Initiative, a foreign film festival that travels around the country. It goes to big cities like New York, Miami, Seattle, LA... and Vashon. The theater on Vashon wrote a letter to the company telling them about how Vashon's a tiny little isolated island, and now they send a few of the films to Vashon for free. Today my government class went and saw "Stolen Life", a Chinese film. A lot of the people didn't like it, but I didn't think it was bad, I thought it was really well done. It was so sad though, I don't think I can ever possibly trust guys again. This girl's boyfriend cheated on her and then ended up selling their baby. See the movie, then you'll understand.

By the way-- WE'RE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!! WHOOOO!!!!

2006-01-22T17:15:00.000-08:00

Last year I fell in love with snowboarding. I snowboarded back in middle school, but I had stopped in highschool because my parents don't ski or snowboard. When I was in Annecy, I was part of a skiclub and went to a different resort in the Alps every week. I got so addicted.

I guess my whining finally got to my parents, because today we went up to the mountains! My mom went and cross country skiied, and my dad downhill skiied for the first time in 33 years. I had a great time with him, I think its pretty cool that he tried again after so long, and hes not bad at all, just slow. He got tired after a while and I spent the last two hours by myself, just listening to my ipod and sailing down the pistes. Gah! I wish it wasn't so expensive or I'd go allll the time!!

When I got home there was a message on the answering machine for me, with a guy speaking in a French accent! I have an interview tomorrow night at Maximilien, a French restaurant in downtown Seattle. I sent in an application, but I figured that they wouldn't consider me because I'm so young. I really hope the interview goes well, it'd be awesome to work at a restaurant. And one where I could (potentially) speak French? Even better.

Wish me luck!

2006-01-20T16:39:00.000-08:00

YOU REALLY MUST SEE THIS!! Please click there.

dont stop the music

2006-01-20T16:19:00.000-08:00

woooooowwwww. Open Mic ROCKED today. Seriously. We had people that performed so incredibly well. I got really excited when some boys started to play "the new year" by Death Cab, then I got even more excited when more boys played "Where is My Mind?" by the Pixies (the instrumentals were great, but I could have done the vocals much better than they did). The best part was a friend of mine who went up and played "Rocky Racoon" by the Beatles. He has such a beautiful voice, I know this boy will be famous.

I can't stop listening to Boom Bap Project. ("Odds On Favorite")

2006-01-17T16:16:00.000-08:00

My mom and I saw Brokeback Mountain yesterday. It was really very sad and very beautiful. It didn't even seem awkward that it was about two gay cowboys, it just seemed like a love story. It has the most gorgeous shots of Wyoming, it makes me realize that my country is astoundingly beautiful. I want to get in the car and drive out in the wilderness and climb a mountain.

Tolo is coming up... and I think I'm going to ask someone. I hate the preparation for dances, its so annoying to try and find dates. I don't even really want to go, but its expected of me. I asked this boys exgirlfriend if she minded if I asked him and she kinda got quiet and icy. I really don't want to hurt anyone, thats not my intention. Besides, maybe he'll say no...